Once you read this story, you will forevermore refer to it as ‘The Costco Story’, and possibly from now on, every time you see a large parking lot you will start giggling!
"I never tire of telling my Costco story because it always produces unbelievable belly laughs," admitted Geoff Simmons, M.D.
Prior to retirement, Dr. Geoff was an adviser for the Federal Emergency Management in four
states, and his book, Common Sense and Disaster Preparedness, was published by The Journal of Emergency Management. He is known for his ability to remain calm during an emergency.
"Our family’s three dogs’ are pure solid canines," said Dr. Geoff. "Roth, the largest, weighs 112 pounds and is a huggable teddy bear; he'd rather kiss you than anything else, rather cuddle on the couch than play outside, and loves everyone. As lovable as Roth is, he would never hesitate to come to
my rescue either by embracing the perpetrators and/or holding the flashlight for them.
One day, as my wife, Sherry, and I were at Costco shopping, she said that she didn't feel well. I dashed to get the car, while she finished up inside.
Roth was sleeping soundly in the back seat, although his favorite spot is in the front seat beside me.
I was concerned about Sherry, so I double-parked at the front entrance when someone blasted their car
horn behind me. I checked my spot and saw that there was enough room for two semi-trucks to pass each other, so I stayed.
The man, who should have been driving to an anger management class instead of to Costco, hit the horn and continued honking. I continued to ignore him.
Soon, this forty-ish, heavyset, bully pulls his car up next to mine, signals for me to roll down my window, and viciously snaps, "You're blocking traffic. You'd better
move."
My answer, "There's plenty of room to drive by me."
"You're blocking the flow of traffic and you HAVE to move," he barked.
I calmly responded, "Show me your badge and I will reconsider."
In a low growl he snarled, 'I'll show you my #!&%'. Then, he pulled his car fifty feet in front of my car, parked, and hurriedly walked toward me. In his best 'tough guy' or 'mad dog' posture he pulled his pants up over his
big belly, indicating that he was preparing to fight. As the bully approached, I thought, 'I'm going to have a major problem unless I come up with something quickly', and thankfully, I did. Not having a weapon or any expertise in fighting, but having a natural instinct for self-preservation, I simply and calmly said, 'Roth, up front.'”
Roth could hardly believe his ears. Joyfully, he bounded over the seat into his favorite position. He was smiling as happy as his 112 pounds of
tight muscles rippling under a shiny coat of fur could. Because of his grin, his tongue hung out over all his beautiful, sharp, bottom white teeth.
The angry bully saw the big black dog with its mouth loaded with weapons and that the dog was taller than Dr. Geoff.
The bully, or actually the now-coward, took a left and 'high tailed' it into Costco 'with his tail between his legs' and has never been seen since.
Dr. Geoff added, "Having our
family's story in the newspaper is way too fun! Our son is tired of hearing this story, so we are framing it for his Christmas present!"
On behalf of the rest of the human population who are as tired as Roth is of parking lot bullies, a big "Thank you!" Dr. Geoff, for sharing your priceless story.