“I run my tax accounting business out of my home,” said Kent, “and clients are not the only ones who came in the door!”
One year, a beautiful black and white cat strolled in and made herself welcome. Not knowing her real name he called her Paperweight after she
unceremoniously plopped herself down onto the papers he was working on. Paperweight visited each morning, for five years, until a neighbor at the end of his street moved out, and apparently so did his co-worker kitty.
Almost immediately, another black and white cat showed up. She was younger, but just as purrs-istant. Once again, Kent did not know the new arrival’s name, so the newbie’s ‘office’ name became Apprentice. It was obvious that
Paperweight had shared the office’s hours, about the snacks to be had, and the comfy cat napping locations. So, when Apprentice applied for the ‘job’, she was hired along with all the fringe benefits.
Ms. Apprentice, as Kent did not know if she was married or not, arrived purr-omptly and paw-unctually as he opens the doors at 5 a.m for her day of steady cat napping and treats. She takes her paws-ition seriously and is a great well groomed employee who takes no
holidays or days off. Just like her purr-edecessor, she wanders in and plops down precisely on the papers that he is working on. In order to reclaim his work area, he ‘bribes’ her with cat treats, and eventually had to ‘present’ her with a designated employee cloth cat bed.
“At first Apprentice refused the bed,” said Kent, “still purr-furr-ing the papers or my chair. So as an accountant, I calculatingly put two and two together and sat on her bed so it would
remind her of me. Then I built a special back for the chair, so she and her bed would not slide out.”
But one day, all was well, she was sleeping, and suddenly, unceremoniously she and the bed slid out from under the back of the chair. Stunned, sitting on the floor, she gave Kent “that blackmailing “look” as a hint threatening a quick return to snoozing on tax papers! Before she could it report him to F.U.G. (Feline Union Group) he quickly remedied
the situation.
Kent has a full-service office, if you are his nondeductible feline office staff. Ms. Apprentice arrives with an appetite demanding a treat, a drink of water, and attention before greeting clients. In the summer, she changes things up by sleeping just outside the door, either in the shade or the sun. After her shift ends, she continues her day, wandering off checking out the rest of her “trap
line”.
“Having a visiting cat has all the advantages and none of the disadvantages of owning a cat,” admits Kent. “She is a TIME SHARE cat who does Day-cations at my home. When I go on holidays, I know that she is fed and groomed by her loving pet parents. I don’t have to pay for a cat sitter, or incur vet bills on her behalf. All she costs me is a cat bed and treats.
I tried training Apprentice to answer the
phone, take messages, and shred paper. She walks over the phone dialing wildly, stands on the answering machine deleting messages, and even the ‘tools’ (her claws) she brings into the office have not shredded one piece of paper - just the side of my desk. Apprentice plainly feels that manual work is for others. She reminds me that dogs have owners and are trainable, but cats have servants and do their own thing as they please - when they please.”
OFFICE
DUTIES (According to Ms. Apprentice.)
1. Look cute.
2. Demand clients’ attention.
3. Purr when given attention.
4. Protect the flower bed from offending bugs.
5. Eat treats.
6. Command ‘subjects’ when to let her in/out of the office.
7. Loudly voice disapproval from having disrupted the office and snack routine when Kent returns from vacation.
